The Main Game

Every Sunday when I trundle off to church I notice how much work some people have put into making it a good event. The singers and musicians have been there for 90 minutes practicing, the prayer team have been there praying over the building, the 'decorators' have been there doing the flowers, etc, etc, etc. It is good that people do the work to prepare for the Sunday service otherwise it will be an absolute shambles. That said, I worry that people put so much emphasis on the Sunday morning service that they come to think of it as the main event.

The Sunday service is not the main event. It is not the real game. It is a training session. The main game is what people do during the week when they are out amongst all their friends, colleagues, and family. We, as Christians go to church so we can prepared and equip to live out our faith before people so they can see our lives and give glory to our Father in Heaven.

So, our Sunday morning services need to be well organised and prepared, like any training session. But it is just that – a time for training, not the main game. If we get this wrong, then we become nothing more than a nice insular Christian club, and our services a fun time for club members, largely disconnected from the rest of our lives beyond the church walls.

And who trains and then never gets out and plays the game? Unfortunately I think that there are many Christians who do that just, and this is a big reason why the Western church is shrinking in size and influence.

Train hard and regularly, so you can play the game well, and press on to the reward that is for those who give it their best shot IN THE FIELD OF PLAY.

Why Don’t Guys Come to Church (Part 2)

This week I have looked at a few other blogs to see what others are saying about this issue. Below are a couple of interesting comments.

In reviewing the involvement of men in the church in the USA, David Murrow (http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/ChurchAndMinistry/menhatingchurch.aspx) said:

More than 90 percent of American men believe in God, and five out of six call themselves Christians. But only two out of six attend church on a given Sunday. The average man accepts the reality of Jesus Christ, but fails to see any value in going to church. Men's disinterest in Christianity is so consistent around the world, it can't be explained by pride, father issues, sin, or distraction. Neither can we say, "Well, men are just less religious," because this is untrue. Male and female participation are roughly equal in Judaism, Buddhism, and Hinduism. In the Islamic world men are publicly and unashamedly religious—often more so than women. Of the world's great religions, only Christianity has a consistent, nagging shortage of male practitioners. What is it about modern Christianity that is driving men away?

After completing a large study into the perceptions of men and women of the church in the UK, Christopher Ducker (http://www.theduckers.org/media/disbanded%20brothers%20-%20summary.pdf) concluded:

"These and other data suggest that gender differences, created by God as described in Genesis, are both real and significant, yet are ignored or underplayed by the Church in the UK. The result of not acknowledging differences between men and women will inevitably be a form of gender confusion. Specifically, a Church that fails to recognise gender differences may become repressive, failing to affirm people in their specific maleness and femaleness. It may stifle the richness of life and the glory of God's creation. It may lead to a poor model of Church since it reduces our diversity as a body. And it will almost certainly lead to an ineffective Church: its preaching, evangelism and pastoral care will all be less effective than if men and women's God-given identities were acknowledged and worked with. This is a lesson in contextualisation: effective witnessing will recognise and respond to differences in male and female "cultures." Failure to appreciate what it means to be male and female in Christ will make it less likely that the Church is able to speak to people at the core of their being, since in essence they are ultimately male or female."

 

I was thinking about the church services from when I was a kid – it was pretty boring, more like a meeting than a concert perhaps! Actually, I don't remember them very fondly, but I do remember that at least half the people there were men. The services had a range of activities including a few hymns (maybe 3), prayers, communion, Bible readings, notices, and a fairly dryly presented sermon. Then, the charismatic/pentecostal movement come along, and most church services, whether they went 'pente' or not, seemed to take on a more emotional tone. The songs changed from hymns to choruses and more pop-style music and increased in number; the sermon was presented in a more engaging, motivational style; communion was reduced to once a month; and, we spend less time in prayer and Bible reading. Now I am not suggesting that the good old days were any better or worse than what we have now, but the services sort of had a culture all of their own – a church sort of culture. First, church is now more emotional, and that is not necessarily bad, but it is less welcoming for many blokes. Second, services now reflect a section of popular culture, mostly through the music that seems to occupy over 50% of the time, and that is a sort of music that is more appealing to women with its Celine Dionish genre. I am not suggesting that the music in church be AC-DC and Bruce Springsteen, but I do think the single flavour of church music is very appealing to some (mostly women), and annoying and unpleasant to others.

Again, I have not offered any solutions here, and I am certainly not advocating that we go back to the types of church services we had in the 60s and the 70s. Maybe we just need a bit more variety in our services. Personally, I'd like to see more Bible reading – let God's Word speak directly into people's lives. I'd also like to see sermons that aren't so much a motivational speech, but rather clear exposition of the Word. Also, can we just have a few moments of silence when we are partaking of communion – please don't play some background music – it is good for us to be left with our thoughts in quietness sometimes! Finally, for me, I'd be happy to have less singing.

Then again, it's not about me. I do want to see church services that are invitational and welcoming for a range of people, including all those people who really love it just as it is now, AND, all those guys who have bailed because they have felt alienated and disenfranchised.

Why don’t guys come to church?

When I was a bit younger I knew some elderly people who were very involved in a very traditional, old-school church. They were some of the most Godly people I have even known, but there were very firm about how a church service should be run. However, often when I talked to these people they would lament, "Why don't any of the young people come to our church?" They genuinely didn't understand why no-one under the age of 70 wanted to join their rigid church service. It seems to me that we have a similar situation in many of our mainstream evangelical churches today, as many of our church services are filled primarily with middle-class women. People are starting to lament, "Why don't many blokes come to church?"

Now, if you knew the answer to this question you could certainly make a fortune by writing a book (not to mention a study guide, a video series for small group studies, and a speaking tour) that could be sold to desperate churches across the Western world. Unfortunately I don't have the answer! Not even many clues really, but I think it is a very important issue to discuss.

First, I'm not sure if men are rejecting the whole Christian faith or just the forms of church they seem to be common now – I suspect it is the latter, but it then inevitably leads to the former as well. If it is indeed just a rejection of current church practice, then that is promising because forms are not doctrinal, and therefore, they can be negotiated and changed.

Second, I think the issue is not as simple as guys not attending church, because there are many blokes who love it and are intimately involved, and these are not just 'girlie-blokes'. However, the gender imbalance is fairly obvious. It is also the case that certain socio-cultural groups or personalities are also under-represented – maybe they attend churches with their peers? If this is so, are churches supposed to be homogeneous communities? Or should local churches reflect the diversity of God's community?

As I mentioned above, I think the problem of guys not attending church is a complex one, and so I don't believe that there is a simple solution. Also, perhaps the current church practices have become so engrained that they have now become sacred, and we are not able to critique them or suggest that they may need to be changed. If this is this case, then we also need to accept that churches will continue to be unwelcoming to many men, and Sunday services will be increasingly feminised communities. This also means that we, as the broader Church, will need to find different forms of church for blokes, and any others who are disenfranchised by the current church community.

I fear that many of the people currently in the church love the forms of church that they have that they will not be willing to consider change and they can't understand why others (many guys) don't want to join them. Perhaps this is a new evangelistic crusade – fill the church with women so lonely guys will come seeking love! This will then address the gender imbalance. Problem solved.

Perhaps not! Ok – this needs more thought. I will continue with this idea again next week.